Happy Valentine’s Day! On this romantic day it is a bummer for those home inspectors who are used to taking their cuddly stuffed animal friends in the crawlspace with them to both provide protection and light the way. I can think of fellow home inspectors Jim Maass in South Carolina, Mike Campbell in Montana, and Jeff Herboldshimer in Northern California who are all going to be heartbroken. You see, Jim can successfully shoot anything that moves, Mike loves the remote freedoms of Montana living, and Jeff just loves new gadgets. But all three have a fondness for furry stuffed animals, and have since their youth. So how could Cabela’s be so cruel as to sell them trusted stuffed animal friends and then have them recalled immediately without warning? These cuddly flashlights known as Beamerzzz were the greatest reported product on the market for those who followed in the path of Radar O’Reily on MASH when it comes to loving the cushy lovable objects. (See photos below).

QUESTION: What is the risk associated with this recall?

ANSWER: The risk is that the stuffed animal will pull sharp wires out of its left paw and lacerate you. Can you imagine being cut open by your most trusted friend... Oh the betrayal. Cabela’s should be ashamed of themselves for scarring the emotions of the users.

QUESTION: What should you do if your bear, moose, or elephant pulls a sharp one on you?

ANSWER: You should immediately stop using the flashlight and contact the manufacturer to get your money back. There is no discussion of replacement units, but I hope that Jim, Mike, and Jeff are able to replace their furry friends with equal but safe furry friends.

WARNING TO JIM MASS - Unfortunately Jim probably didn’t get this far down the page and he has already set his lovable cuddly friend out in the yard and blown it away with his shotgun... Que pena (What a shame in Portuguese). I can just see the bear’s head flying up high in the air while the body explodes into a puff of fibrous lint... I guess he can’t get his refund now.

NEWS from CPSC

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission